One day I was talking on the phone with a guy who I was getting to know in the early stages of dating. We hadn’t known each other for very long, so we definitely weren’t serious, but I did like what I saw so far.
The phone conversation was going well, and then out of the blue he asked me if I would consider taking my weave out so he could see my natural hair, without the added extension length.
He totally caught me off guard, and I honestly didn’t know how to respond. Not to mention, it was a freshly done sew-in so I had no plans on taking it down before 6-8 weeks. I think what shocked me the most was his interest in my natural hair.
My stylist is amazing and slays my hair, so whenever I get my sew in done, it always looks completely natural. The only reason he knew it was a sew-in is because one day he asked me, and I told him.
Most men I’ve dated really didn’t care too much about my natural hair, and I certainly was never asked to take it out. I told this new guy, that sure he could see my hair, when I take it down. However, the relationship didn’t even last the remainder of the 8 weeks, because he ended up being way too uptight.
But this conversation had me thinking and discussing this whole scenario to one of my friends about it. Is it considered a lie if you don’t show your bf your natural hair, if he doesn’t ask? I mean I started thinking of it from a guys prospective, and say a guy wore hats all the time, because he had a receding hairline, I would definitely want to see his hairline in the light of day because that would make a difference in how much I was or wasn’t attracted to him.
My friend and I concluded that might be the reason behind men wanting to see a woman’s natural hair. Since that relationship, I continued to wear my protective styles, and my last boyfriend also wanted to see my natural hair.
In that case, I did take down my weave and wore my natural hair for him, and he loved it but it was my choice. What do you ladies think? What if you feel insecure about your natural hair so you always wear sew ins, and your man asks to see your real hair, would you show him?
Lj Springs says
If he reveals ALL his vulnerability then you can respond in kind
ladee neenah says
Why does showing your real hair make you feel vulnerable?
Janie Dee says
If he likes you he likes you for everything whether your hair is long short straight kinky however you wear as long as it’ neat and as long as you being you
Senora Brown says
I DON’T understand your Question Young Lady…SERIOUSLY! A LIAR… really lil’ girl.. First of All You Are Uniquely and Wonderfully Made The Way GOD intended… However You decide to wear your hair… Love on yourself 1st so that your true beauty radiates from the inside out… True Friends… And your Man of intrest will begin to see YOU for You and like or LOVE everything about you.. We as Women of color…Our Hair is important to us most def… Don’t let it be a total definition of WHO GOD made YOU… The devil IS the Liar Dearheart NOT you ! beauty is skin deep baby…
Lihle Ndlela says
I don’t think men go out looking for women based on hair. I seriously doubt they care.
Lihle Ndlela says
As for removing any protective hairstyle for a guy will he take personal responsibility for the maintenance and care of the hair.
Mary says
This is an interesting question. For some men I imagine it makes a difference if the hair a woman presents to the world is different than the hair he may need to deal with privately. On the one hand, I can understand his wanting to know so that he has a complete picture of the woman he’s getting to know. But on the other hand, it would make me wonder if I’m dealing with a superficial man. Is he the type of person who would abandon our relationship me if I got heavier than I was when we met? Would he leave if I got cancer and lost all of my hair? Would he reject me if I lost all of my weight and became extremely thin? That would be the flag that a request like that might cause me depending on the rapport we had.
Phoenix McGee says
You just managed to find a nut lol, glad he showed that side early on so you could nip it in the bud!
ladee neenah says
Why would it even be an issue for you to show him what your hair really looks like? I understand that your sew in had just been redone, so just involve him when you take it out, like asking him to help you remove the weave hair from your braids. Your hair is a big part of your appearance so why feel some kind of way because he wants to see you au natural?
Taytay Anderson says
Simple … no.
Lihle Ndlela says
What does he need to see it for?