So, the other day I was having a conversation with my mom and my sister about some of the decisions that my mom made concerning our hair. My sister is 5 years older than me, so for as long as I can remember, my sister’s hair has always been permed.
I, on the other hand, was natural up until I entered high school. According to my mother, she didn’t want to perm my hair because I had a different grade of hair than my sister, and my sister’s hair just wasn’t manageable without a perm.
Which in turn, sparked a discussion on how soon is too soon to perm your daughter’s hair. Could you be harming your daughter’s hair by giving her a relaxer at a young age?
In stores they sale relaxers for girls, which is essentially just a relaxer in a lower strength than the ones for adults, however, it is still a chemical, and if left on too long can still burn and cause irritation.
I still have horror stories from memories of my mother perming my hair in our kitchen and washing it in the sink and the intense burning from leaving the perm in as long as possible, just to make sure every strand was bone straight.
I would even beg my mom not to wash it out until I was sure that it was straight enough, because I didn’t want any waves or kinks to be left curly. And, at that age I was 14 or older.
I couldn’t imagine being a 3-5 year old and experiencing that pain. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer as far as whether or not to perm your child’s hair, but I do think there are things to keep in mind if you do decide to do it:
Make sure that the perm is applied by a licensed professional
Like I mentioned earlier, my mother was the one perming my hair. My mother never went to beauty school, so the only training she had came from her experience doing my sisters hair.
Licensed professionals are trained in applying relaxers to hair, and know the ins and outs. A relaxer should not burn if applied and rinsed out properly.
Also, when I started getting my hair permed, but hair began to break and shed at massive rates. For as long as I could remember I had long thick hair, hence the reason my mother was so hesitant for all those years to perm my hair.
I’m not in any way saying a perm will make your hair fall out, but what I am saying is that if you are not letting a professional apply it and then treat your hair, then there is a high risk for breakage. Just because the perm may be cheaper to purchase at your local beauty supply store, than to pay a professional, doesn’t mean that that is the best ideal.
Nikki Belue says
DON’T. I think you should leave a child’s hair natural until they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do. So many mother’s choose to relax their daughter’s hair out of laziness and not wanting to deal with the process of natural hair. Leave their hair alone.
Jamie Elaine Reed-Anderson says
I so agree with you on this!!
Chondrell Wilkerson says
It’s not laziness. They’re uneducated on it and they turn to the one thing that they do know about and it’s relaxers
Kamela M Oxner says
No, its not laziness. Relaxed hair requires daily maintenance, also.
Nikki Belue says
I say laziness because straight hair is far more easier and less time consuming than natural hair. The ppl I know that have permed their daughter’s hair did do it out of laziness and “not having time for that”.
Kamela M Oxner says
Actually, a perm causes the hair to curl. And by the way, many the so-called natural hair products cause hair to curl; the ingredients indicate curl activator – chemical reaction. Its matter of choice; and no should be crucified for the hairstyle they may pick themselves or their minor children. Let’s stop with hair wars.
Nikki Belue says
Perm is a straightener….not a curl forming product. I don’t know what type of perm you’re referring to and I’m not aware of any curl activating chemical in natural hair products. I make sure to read labels before I purchase(if I use store bought products at all) and I’ve never seen this chemical you speak of Kamela. Natural hair curls….naturally so why would one need an activator??? Maybe you’re thinking of Jerry curl activator???
Ajah says
Well I was taught this jargon because we used to get our hair done at the base salon. It was cheaper to go to the base salon then an out in town salon.
If you wanted a perm that means you wanted your hair curly hence using perm rods. Then you would say I want a Perm
If you wanted your hair straight then you had to say that you wanted a Relaxer because you want your curls relaxed. I truly think that it really just depends on where your from. It’s the same as saying Soda, Pop, Soda-pop, or a Coke.
I live in San Diego, so when I would get my hair relaxed I always said, “I would like my hair relaxed.” Since I had the same person forever, she knew what I wanted and then she handed me off to a male because she moved to another state and even though he is white he knew what a relaxer was. So all was good. Actually now that I think about it; he was the one that told me to go natural and he taught me about my hair and taught me how to take care of it, so my hair would grow. lol
Chondrell Wilkerson says
Perms are actually used for white ppl with straight hair, it brings the curls. Blacks use relaxers to straighten. I may have them mixed up.
Roslyn Boston Bussey says
5Yrs old, i see mothers doing that and im think, that must be real hard on thiae babies head! jmo
Noèl Kimmie says
I know someone who put in their daughter hair at 2!! The lil girl starting fighting some got behind her ear/neck area and it burned her skin!!
Roslyn Boston Bussey says
Poor baby!
Ajah says
yeah I think 5 is far too young
Amy Washington says
Ever
AshleyRebecca Belle says
I’m not making that mistake
Peggy Seldon Harris says
Never i did n wish i never did.
Kizzia Logan Holland says
Never..my daughter 11 n ive never permed her hair..wish i never had gotten one..
Tynika Nelson says
I agree with u. I wish my mom never permed my hair, but my daughter’s head will never see a perm unless she does it herself
Shauna P says
My daughter is 8 and I’m definitely thinking about it. Maybe not a relaxer, but at least a keratin treatment or something. She’s tender-headed and her hair is very thick and coarse. She cries, I get frustrated, it’s not a good thing for either of us. I deep condition, I pre-poo, I co-wash. I don’t think it’s always about people being lazy. Different strokes for different folks
Janie Dee says
Agree
Tiphanee Eason says
It’s definitely not. It’s about comfort level of both parties. I’m a stylist and I don’t recommend them but I also don’t tell a parent not to. Not everyone can afford to go to a stylist all the time. So you do what’s best for you. And you don’t have to leave it on long. Just long enough to make it manageable. Look into all options and make sure who ever you have do her hair make sure they are knowledgeable and answer all your questions you may have. Good luck with everything.
Shauna P says
Thank you very much. I have it braided right now, but I am looking into all options.
Kiyana Lee says
COCONUT OIL……….NO CHEMICALS AT ALL
Ashley Alexandria says
As a mother you have the right to make an informed decision about your child. Do what you feel is best without being pressured.
Tiphanee Eason says
You can also use apple cider vinegar oil and water mix also helps to detailed. Separating hair into quadrants or halves while shampooing n conditioning also helps. Also could be the washing products or products in general that will cause tangling. Being natural is great but it is A LOT of work. But good luck to all of you and happy holidays as well. Be blessed
Ajah says
I just learned that ACV and beer is a good detangler. I was shocked.
Chante Taylor-Hutton says
Keratin isn’t bad if applied properly. It’s is a protein treatment that coats the hair. You retain your curls and it gives wonderful manageability for someone tender headed. It’s only done 2x a year . But you have to do what’s best for your child and family. Just take the time to do research and spend the money and go to a professional if you do choose treatments
Loren Thigpen says
Girl I know the struggle..
Karema Mcfarlane says
I know heat is hated amongst naturals but you should try blowing out her hair (after washing) in very very small sections. * not Brazilian type blowout a low heat to stretch/dry type of blowout.
Stacey NM says
Just wanted to add that not all hair agrees with coconut oil, even as an added ingredient. I found this out about my hair and had to explore other options.
Shauna P says
My hair hates coconut oil, and I saw no added benefits of it in my daughter’s hair either. Now, our hair loves olive oil and black castor oil!
Yolanda Hill says
Just twist her hair or ware a fro, put pretty head bands.. Don’t put chemicals please. .
Heaven Lee says
NEVER❣
Katie Coy says
Never
Shavonne R. Boyd says
When they are a teen. At that age, they are capable of making informed decisions.
Tami Mckoy says
I was told they shouldn’t get a relaxer until they start menstruation because of the delicacy of their hair follicles.
Natasha Thomas says
Never, until my daughter’s 18, then she can decide what they want to do to her hair.
Ashley Alexandria says
Why 18?
Natasha Thomas says
My child, my business! Do I tell you what to do with your child? My mom let me decide what to do with my hair at 18 so I’m doing the same for mine.
Tiana Lee Kai says
???? when the parents are letting their kids raise them… 18 is a great age to do whatever they want.
Ajah says
well by 18 your an adult, so you can do what you want.
Ashley Alexandria says
Why are we, as black women, always on the defensive? I merely was curious about your reasoning of choosing a particular age. Why can’t we have educated and respectful interactions with the hopes of enlightening others. I’m sorry you took offense to my question because it reall was just a question.
Ajah says
Even though my mom relaxed my hair younger than 18. my mother would never hurt me. I personally feel it’s the mother’s choice and it’s no one else’s business. I think 5 is far too young. I would ask that they explore something else then a relaxer, but I’m not going to bash them for it, I don’t know what is going on in their life that led them to that decision. But I agree with Barbar try to keep them natural as long as possible.
Kiyana Lee says
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER IS TOO SOON…….#dontdoit
Barbar Wicker says
Never I have to girls.. Black woman leave the natural for as long as possible
Marianela Arroyo says
I’ve never or would I ever relax my babies hair. That process with time changes the hair so much that the hair never grows out the same. It’s too harsh and should not be done. If it has to be done it should be done on a teenage girl who decided to do it because she wants to. I had my first relaxer at 7 and I’ve hated my hair ever since. Now that I’m natural, my texture is not the same from when I was little and I’ve had to struggle to get it to a healthier point.
Myra Singlelady says
NEVER!!!!!!
Mike Eddy says
DONT EVEN DO IT!!!!
Mike Eddy says
We should be teaching our daughters that they are beautiful just the way they are, natural hair, brown skin and all!!!
Rivian Jones says
And if a child has lighter skin then is she not beautiful? If you guys stop putting emphasis on brown and dark skin this self hate and hate for those lighter might actually go away. Just saying.
Rivian Jones says
I embrace black period but I won’t get into this it’s just sad ya’ll push your insecurities on these kid’s. Having a perm does not equal hate for ones hair or lack of acceptance for ones natural beauty. You have a goodnight.
Mike Eddy says
You came for me and I didn’t send for you and now you wanna retreat behind the original issue? Cool sis. And perming your hair is self hate at its finest. No matter how you spin it.
Rivian Jones says
No it’s not denying your heritage equals self hate. Talking down on Men and women of your own race self hate. You women permed your hair once upon a time because YOU thought your hair was ugly. You wanted to fit in and now you all push that off on these young girls. you all can continue to fight over the texture of hair something so petty smh. I am not my hair and the job I have as a mother is to teach my daughter about who she is and to be proud. I will not teach her that another fellow woman of color hates herself because of the way she chooses to wear her hair. Black women or so harsh towards each other which is why I don’t have alot of female friends.
Ajah says
women are hard on each other PERIOD. I choose to have more male friends which will make my baby shower very interesting once I have a child.
Rivian Jones says
Now I’m done!
Tiana Lee Kai says
Until 18 when they’re grown, let them decide.
Natasha Thomas says
That’s what I said but these heffas on here want to question why 18? Because she’s my child. Everyone parent their child different.
Lyveno says
You took the question as an insult, and are calling them names because they “dared” to ask you why? They are not and were not challenging your parenting skills. It was just a simple question. No need to take offense and attack someone. You’re right–every one parents their children differently. Just like my mother wouldn’t let me wear makeup until I was 16. I allowed my daughters to wear makeup when they wanted to and they both were well into their teens.
Israel Coppin says
I wouldn’t know. My daughters are natural
Julisesa Lafrance says
I got mines at 3 years old. And my hair was down my back. Now i cut it often
Cb Sampson says
NEVER TAKE THE TIME TO DEEP CONDITION YOUR CHILDS HAIR BUT KEEP IT NATURAL
Natasha Thomas says
I do the same for my child, I want her to embrace her natural hair.
Shelbra Grissett-Little says
How about NEVER!!!! Take the time to care for their hair and stop being LAZY!!!
Amber Taylor says
Never, I wished my mom just pushed me to learn how to take care and embrace my natural hair. But I’m learning that now.
Vedejah Scroggins says
I had a perm I think I was what 8 i dont know I don’t think I want to perm my daughters hair if I have one I’ll let them perm their own hair so they can take care of it themselves
Fine Brown Frame says
I don’t have kids..but probably wouldn’t relax my dughters hair til jr high, unless she requested it a little earlier. .I don’t judge or condemn decisions other moms make in regards to “their” childs hair..
Izmyel Gheeyar says
should be her own personal decision when she’s at least in high school (old enough to know the pros and cons of this decision)
Célia Huismans says
Always! Don’t.
Elisha Wright says
N E V E R ! ✊
Loren Thigpen says
If you’re going to put any chemicals in your child’s hair wait until they’re about 12 or 13 anything before that can cause permanent damage..because they’re hair is fragile.
Cheryl Williams Meeks says
Relaxer? Not until she’s a at least 12 for me. Heck I’m trying to figure out if 7 years old is enough to for braid extensions.
Shavonne R. Boyd says
Just do extensions lightly, like cornrows.
Karen Jeneen Hilliard says
✊✊✊✊✊ To all my mothers instilling and insisting on their daughters to love their hair for what it’s worth and knowing the detrimental damage the effects chemicals have on a young prepubescent girl. Start them on this pattern of thinking their hair is not acceptable, by the time they’re my age (41), they’ll regret it. I’m so glad I grew my daughters’ hairs back out. The chicks that was telling me to relax their beautiful, thick, down to the tailbone hair, kids didn’t have much hair, themselves. Edges all snatched like they were stolen and full of nasty gel. And neither did their mama’s head; all full of glue and jit!! Yeah, I went there! And yes, I’ve been on both sides of the fence. If I’d known what I know now, my hair would be hella long! I see right through this post and so do SOME of the rest of us!!
Kersha Beaver says
Don’t do leave that. Childs hair natural
Lavon M F Hairston says
Can we stop putting multi color barretts in the childrens hair?
Lavon M F Hairston says
Who says you have to get a relaxer? Let the child decide when you think they are age appropriate.
Joy Gordon says
So no to creamy crack
Danielle Gorman-Callaham says
I relaxed my daughter around 6 years old. I’m a hairstylist and can take care of it. Saying that if your not going to get tup every 6 to 8 week and have it done EVERY 2 weeks don’t do it! You can’t just relax hair and don’t take care of it
Miya Johnson says
In middle school
DiscoveringNatural says
Here’s my experience with RELAXING my daughter’s hair at 4 years old (she is now natural and loving it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdX4L5TM2mo
Miriam Wilson says
Don’t do it!!!
Miriam Wiley says
Hot comb and grease! No relaxers. Period!
Amiliyah Coles says
Never!!!!
Terri Lezley Miller says
As avAfrican woman , my mom let me Choose that Step . Let your daugther decide , not you . Help her VALUE HER HAIR N CULTURE .
Brenda Matthews says
Just don’t do it!✔️
Joyce Henry says
How about never!
Yolanda Hill says
Why LAWD
Lesika Kitti Jackson says
My daughter is 6 and I put a texturizer in her hair because it was just that thick … And her hair is fine ….
Csky Spann says
What’s a texturizer?
Ashley Hester says
You should never relax a childs hair period, no matter how difficult it is to comb it. Just keep it moisterized and braided thats it. Putting perms and heat in anybody’s hair let alone a childs will break they hair out.
Elizabeth Pough says
I worked in a daycare and had a 4 year old with relaxed hair the mother had all biracial children except one so I’m assuming she just didnt want to deal with it. It’s sad what it might be doing to her psychologically without knowing
Nelijia Grovell says
Anytime before middle school
Shawntay Phillips says
Smh gone ruin these kids hair at a early age
Misha Patterson says
No reason to ever perm it.
Erica Cooper says
I won’t perm my baby hair i actually love my natural hair and it’s healthy
Saprila Mclean says
Don’t do it, use straighteners instead
Rozena Loman says
I first permed my kids hair when they both turned 10 yes old
Kelly White says
I would never relax my child’s hair
Jamila Kelly says
I was permed at about 7.
And I’m still alive, healthy, happy AND I have a lot of healthy hair! Who’d have thunk it !
Oh and might I mention I know in beautiful…my hair doesn’t define me and it won’t define your kids. Not sure why so many people’s comments are connecting self esteem issues and their kids hair? ^^;;; hmm…I’d be worried.
Rivian Jones says
Because they have self esteem issues and sadly teaching there daughter’s the same. I am not my hair needs to be the lesson.
Jamila Kelly says
I still fail to see the connection between hair and ones self esteem…but I guess each their own.
Mellanissa Blessed Budgett says
I got my perm at age 15. It wasn’t about not loving my hair, but I liked the styles. Some mom’s perm their daughter’s hair, not because they thought it was ugly but be a use it was more manageable. Especially if they had thick hair like my daughter’s hair. Apolecia runs in my side of the family and I have it , so my style is sew in because if the thinness at the top.
Rivian Jones says
My daughter has a very manageable pretty grade of hair so perming won’t be needed. However, if she had a kinky texture I would get her a stylist and let them do the maintenance. I do know someone who permed her child’s head when she was 4 yrs old and I can’t judge her for that. Calling somebody lazy because you don’t agree is childish and one can assume some of you have severe self esteem issues since you put so much stock in hair and skintone.
Gigi Robinson says
Never relax it
Coa Luck-Spicy says
These days if I had a daughter I wouldn’t because I am natural and know how to manage it. My mind isn’t think “Ohhh embrace your natural hair” because with my natural hair that isn’t where my mind is…I mean I just feel like my hair is who I am why do I need to learn to embrace it! It is what it is so I don’t think about that way! But back in my day I know it was difficult to manage hence why I was given the just for me perm and as I got older i was really ignorant to the wonders of my hair and its capabilities until I saw ladies on YouTube and was stunned. So much so that I remember a classmate who was relaxer free (her mother said no relaxers) told me when she washed her hair was curly and I remember thinking “lies you tell”. I assumed only biracial black women in our culture could have curly hair not me or her. Needless to say that girl finally was able to relax for graduation day and look back on that how much pressure our high school gave her to perm and even my own opinions of her hair and here I am perm free and loving it smh
Marcia Watson says
Never!
Esha Whitlow says
Not before 5th grade.
Monique says
My mom permed my hair before I turn 5. She claimed my hair was too thick. Back then , there was no natural hair movement . I am natural again but if I had a little girl I would never perm hair hair and I would teach her to love her natural hair .
Shana Hennessy says
Never… Would never relax my daughter’s hair. We should be teaching them to embrace and know how to deal with natural hair…At least wait until she’s old enough to make that decision for herself.
Marjorie Etienne says
I have 3 daughters. I relaxed my oldest daughter’s hair, not out of laziness..I just didn’t know any better. That was the biggest mistake I made as a parent. I didn’t repeat that mistake with my last two baby girls.
Shaketta Shannel Singleton says
Though most people dont want to hear this : Your child’s hair should remain natural until after they have gone through puberty. Until you go through puberty your hair follicles are still growing and developing. So what you see before then may not be the final stage of their hair…additionally doing so too soon can lead to long term or a life time of damaged hair follicles which can affect the way and strength of the hair that grows from those follicles throughout their life.
It’s best to find products that help you maintain their hair than to chemically change the composition of their hair so young. This is not 100% the case for every single individual but a large percentage of cases especially when the service isn’t completed by a trained professional in a professional salon environment.
But even when done by a professional if done to young can lead to issues.
Angela Roberts says
If you are going to relax your hair you should never relax your daughter’s hair before the age of 12 I learned this in cosmetology school weather white or black or any other race you should not apply any chemicals to your daughters hair until after the age of 12 when they have reached puberty
Tamara Zackery says
With all that is known about relaxers and perms.. Why make that( perms or relaxers) an option.. It can be costly and damaging to your hair and/ or pockets.. When my daughter who is now20 was in grade school. I would send her to The Dominican beauty shop, their technic.. Was a blessing for my daughter and I.. Because she had more hair than we knew what to do with.. However we moved to Baltimore and we found our selves going back to NYC.. After having three beauticians refuse to do her hair if I didn’t agree to a relaxer.. And they never believe us when we say she has virgin hair.. Of course do what works for you.. But, can’t help but to think some of us are just hard headed..
Kamela M Oxner says
Guys, guys.. . There’s a difference between a perm & a relaxer. Geez.
Tynika Nelson says
Just don’t do it. My mom permed my hair as a kid and kept doing it for years, but as a grown Natural woman I love my short thick Natural hair ❤ to each her own, but my daughter is never getting a relaxer!!
Csky Spann says
Leave it alone. Just let it grow naturally
Thedra Renee White says
My daughter is 16 no perm , and she does not want one , we get a blow out no chemicals ever three months for a trim other than that wash, Blue Magic twist at night.
Ruby Ann White Franklin says
Don’t do it!!!!!
Rossa Clarke-White says
PLEASE DON’T!
Norma says
Well I haven’t found a professional hair dresser who relax my hair without having it broken off. They always left it on far too long. I have fine weak hair. I ended up doing my own hair by just putting relaxer on and then washing it out immediately. Thank God I am natural now and getting to know my hair. My hair is a mixture of straight and kinky.
Qulip Brown says
I have never permed my children hair. If I had known what I know now… I wouldn’t never, never put that stuff in my hair.
Ajah says
I think I was around 7 or 8 the first time my mom relaxed my hair. It wasn’t because she wanted me to hate my hair etc. It was a time management issue. My mom was working full-time and going to school and my dad was still traveling with the military. My sister and I were still getting our hair done by my mom, so she would normally do our hair at night and then tie a scarf on it that way in the morning she puts a little grease in her hands and smooths our hair back, but studying started to take over the night time routine and my mom needed my sister to step up as an older sister and learn to do both our hair, but my mom knew that my hair is thicker and more course then my sister’s so she permed my and my sisters hair so it would be easier for my sister to manage. Now that I think about it I wish that she would have felt like she had the time to teach us how to take care of our natural hair, but it is what it is. She made the decision that she thought would be best. Not to mention through that time up until adult hood my sister and I continued to get relaxers, but it’s because we just didn’t think anything was wrong with it. We didn’t have self hate or anything we were just on “hair maintenance auto pilot”. I decided in 2012 to go natural because my hair kept breaking no matter how nicely I treated it, my hair was just super fragile, so I decided to go natural so my hair would grow back and be healthy and strong.
Lyveno says
I remember my mother using the hot comb on my hair when I was little. Later on she started using relaxers, I think I was 10 or so. I had long hair, down my back, but I had braids until I went into the 6th grade. My mother told me that if I wanted to wear my hair down, then I had to get it cut, because if I didn’t it would all just break off. I cried when she had it cut. Most of my adult life, I have tried to get my hair back out to the length it was when I was a child. I have done my own relaxers since I was 15 years old and I have never had any damage to my hair, because I read the directions and learned to apply the chemicals properly, like only applying the relaxer to the new growth.
My hair challenges were because I was never taught how to take care of my hair properly. I finally learned about 6 years ago that no lye relaxers are actually really bad for your hair because it calcifies the hair shaft and makes it more brittle. I switched to the lye relaxers and immediately saw the difference in my hair. My hair grew like crazy. I had a challenge when I moved from the humid South, out here to the desert–my hair started breaking off again and for a few years I struggled with it.
Three years ago, I stopped blow drying my hair and after washing, pulled it back in a pig tail (my hair came down just past my chin.) Two years ago, I started relaxing my hair about once every three months. I still use a flat iron, maybe once every week or two, and wear my hair back in a pony tail most of the time. My hair is now down to the middle of my back. I don’t think the problem is necessarily “all” relaxers, but that we have not been taught how to properly care for our hair.
I’ve told many people about this site, most of them have been natural–I have to say that sadly it seems there is a lot of hating on those of us, like me, who choose to relax our hair. I don’t hate myself or my heritage, I just prefer my hair to be straight or wavy. No different than a person who prefers to color her hair blonde (not color usually found in dark skinned people), or a Caucasian person with straight hair that chooses to perm (make it curly) her hair. It’s all personal preference and we need to stop crucifying each other over this. I have been accused of not being black enough all my life and I’m tired of it.
Sorry for the book…. 🙂
Nykky Gee says
Never
Ali Hendrix says
Her decision after she is 18!! Until then, no relaxer!
Stephanie Robinson says
Never
Tory Marie Rodriguez says
Before she’s 18
Michelle Glinsey says
Never
Nicka McGee says
Her lifetime, maybe not even then either.
Melody Janae Nuñez says
Never. No even when shes 18 lol jk
Tamara Simon says
Never PERIOD
Charnita Armstead says
I’ve seen it done as young a 1 year old????????♀️. I just could not believe it.
Anona Anonyuo says
Charnita Armstead no way!
Charnita Armstead says
Anona Anonyuo yes way. I work at an early childhood center and I have 1 and 2 year olds. Their hair looks horrible now. ???? my own girls are 14 and 7 neither of us have relaxers
Blaque Foxx says
i see it all the time in the south…if they can walk they got it permed. its sad like…youre just being lazy. i hate doing hair too but i refuse to do my daughter like that.
Charnita Armstead says
Me too!
Shauna Renee Shouse says
I think that that shouldnt be an option until she is old enough (18) to choose it for herself. Just like piercings.
Rysheeda Ward says
Any period of time in their lives is too soon to get a relaxer for any girl of color with beautiful thick full kinky curly with body and bounce naturally grown hair
Ladyt Carr says
Never. Let her be natural until she’s old enough to deside
Valerie Pratt Brown says
If your asking it’s too soon
Violet Tabron says
Never, it’s her decision!
Brandy Gilliam says
Before the age of 15/16. Before that, the hair is still maturing, and you’re definitely doing damage.
Anesha Rhett Berry says
These responses!!! ???????????? #TeamNatural
#LoveYourNaturalSelf
Bara Shabara says
Never
Arlette Walker says
Never do it.
Elaine Reed-Anderson says
Never….never I say….NEVER!!!!
De'Bora D. Brinson says
NEVER!
Shanae Gourdine says
You’re not grown til you’re on your own not while under my roof ????Period
Barbara Hall says
Noooooo!
Shigeta FirstLady says
Never
Thompson Shirl Sue says
Anytime is too soon, no need to damage perfectly good hair!!!
Sandres Cromwell says
Never .
Ash M Johnson says
I had mine at like 6 or 7 hair was still beautiful, healthy and long… it’s up to the parent.
I’m waiting until my baby turn 13 and simply asking her.
Neeva H Wood says
If a comb cant pass through without pain and ease, I’m all for a kiddie relaxer or texturizer.????????♀️. My opinion only.
Ash M Johnson says
Neeva H Wood amen lmao ????
Because idc what nobody says sometimes you have to relax those kids heads
Iesha Smith says
Neeva H Wood that’s wear I’m at with my daughter haven’t relaxed it yet
Petrina Bubb says
It should be when they are 18 old enough to be apart of the decision and take care of it.
Nicole Drake says
Never is the best!!!
Janiqua Ross says
Forget relaxing what about all those barrettes? To many
Lonnisha Scott says
Anytime. Let her embrace her natural hair and allow her to make that decision on her own.
Jo'An Raby says
Only if hair is too unmanageable; too young is a child under 13 years of age. I would blow-dry or flat-iron, only. Relaxer chemicals are harmful to the hair and body.
Blaque Foxx says
how is it unmanageable…like whats wrong?
Sharii Tubonemi says
Jo’An Raby no such thing as unmanageable
Alana Griggs says
I know everyone is saying never but I let my oldest 2 that are 19 & 21 get one at 12 & now we all are natural for years now & not looking back
Stacee Johnson says
Dont do it at all until shes grown and can decide for herself
Bates Wells says
Stacee Johnson I agree ????
Felicia Merritt says
Stacee Johnson no just don’t do it , show her how to love and appreciate her natural hair . Show her how versatile it is .
Boboll Billie Jolie says
Never, the chemical in these products should never touch your child’s hair. Do the research and protect your kids .# teachthemtolovetheirhair
Syeena Tynè says
Don’t do it ladies! Her natural hair is PERFECT
Joan Mckinnie-sanders says
Why do they need a relaxer?
Sharii Tubonemi says
Joan Mckinnie-sanders they don’t lol
Emily Davis says
Keep it oiled and brush daily.
Theresa Reese Dennis says
Recently watched an interview where a Dr. confirmed that some reproductive issues are linked to relaxers! I’ll have to find the Dr. interview to post. I will not be relaxing my daughter’s hair.
Dee Anderson says
Theresa Reese Dennis Exactly. This could lead to cancer
Shaquanna Gordon says
Theresa Reese Dennis Girl !! I’ve been getting my hair relaxed since a kid!! I have 6kids !!! Back to back !!!
Lonique Renee Brooklyn Ryan says
Why do people feel the need to judge. Do what you want with your kids damn. As long as you know how to take care of hair both in the natural and relaxed state because I’ve seen some messed up natural hair to
Shuga Johnson says
I had one at early age and had healthy hair as long I kept heat off and trimmed it. I decided as an adult that I didn’t like it and have never went back. Neither has ever done my hair PERMANENT damage. My daughter has never needed one ????????♀️ it’s personal!
Sharii Tubonemi says
Shuga Johnson no one NEEDS a relaxer
Shuga Johnson says
Sharii Tubonemi if I couldn’t get her hair to look the way I wanted it to look without one, she would NEED one. Luckily, I’m pretty good styling her natural curls
Sharii Tubonemi says
Shuga Johnson maybe take some classes to teach you how to handle hair. Instead of damaging a child’s hair with chemicals because of your lack of knowledge
Shuga Johnson says
Sharii Tubonemi you sound like this my last thing I’m replying to you. May the force be with you ????????????????????
Shan Price says
Never
Bri Moore says
Whenever you want to. Your child your business. ????????♀️
Marlyn Wood says
Never
OB Holt says
Soon to never!!!!!
Ashley Anderson says
I wish mine had never been relaxed. If I had a daughter I wouldn’t dare do it to hers
Frio Coraźon says
Never
Rachell Mallery says
My beautician told me after they have their first menstral cycle..me personally if someone relaxed their hair doesn’t mean they are against natural hair or can’t see the beauty…sometimes it just freakin hurts when you comb it no matter what regiment you follow…DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU!
Tamara L. Smith says
Never Do It❌????
BraidLicense says
never
Tiqua Graham says
Never is a good time to start
Marquita Lewis says
Never. Mine is 10 still natural and loving it. When you know better. Do better.
April Forthan says
Mine 15
Tåmmie Diçkšõn says
I prefer never but that’s just me….everyone else can do as they please with their children.
Tiana Edmond says
That will be her choice when she’s older.
Janice Avington-Jackson says
Never
Sharii Tubonemi says
Never relax your child’s hair
Tara M Myers says
You Don’t… when she is of age her choice
Jessica Edwards says
Never
Stephanika Zahara says
I had my first at 2, no my mama didn’t do it. But in the end my hair was still thick and long asf. I went natural three years ago. My daughter is six and she says she wants an Afro just like her ma so….at the end of the day it’ll be her choice when she’s older. But for now we loving our natural nappy roots ????????
Allison Dillard says
NEVER!
Michelle Lynn says
Shampoo ,condition , blow dry & flatiron! No need for a relaxer. And get ends clipped once or every 2 months
Tommi Lushun says
Any day
DeLeria Banks-Irving says
Never
Faith Et William says
Everyone hair grows better in its natural state. Just learn how to do your own hair and allow it to grow
Toni Johnson says
My daughters hair is hard to manage but I’m not willing to torture her scalp with those burning chemicals.
Melody Denise Conard says
Keep it natural don’t put chemicals in your daughters hair
Nurse Thomas says
Forever
Shanna Greenawalt says
Never,?
Nurse Thomas says
Put that shit in ya own head! My girls are 20&16 and have never not once had any relaxer. Don’t put that shit in their head
Maryssa Green says
Anytime before puberty is to young. My daughter is 14 and she loves her natural hair.
Fran Harrison says
Not like i have room for an opinion.. But if i wore other shoes.. I would say not until teens. Flat irons and oils and embracing yourself is the way to go starting early on. Jmo
Kelly White says
I personally would never but to each it’s own
Danielle Gorman-Callaham says
I did my daughter at 6 but won’t suggest anyone else do it. Y’all slap a relaxer in and don’t maintain it and hair breaks off. Talking about the relaxer damage the hair. No you damage it. I’m a hairstylist so I know how to maintain it. She about to be 14years old now and her hair is long and healthy
Lachresha Kennell says
Just don’t do it, let them make the decision in adulthood????????
Roslyn Jackson says
Relaxing your child’s hair without them asking should be a crime . Period.
Queenl Mcneill says
Don’t relax your daughter’s hair..
Jackqueline Miller-Wintons says
I say not before 5 years of age but I didn’t have any girl babies, but when I was a child my mama pressed my hair with straighten comb an used that creme satin press grease by ultra sheen.. It was like I had a perm smh I messed up my hair with the creamy crack lol!!
Gwen Wright says
Never
Jazmine Ronaé says
Before she’s out of my house. My daughter better NEVER!!!
Karen Gross says
At least 13 or middle school. Too soon and hair has a tendency to be stunted. Please wait as long ad possible.
Hannah Joseph says
My mom relaxed mine probably when I was like 10. My hair was already halfway down my back she only did it because it was more manageable but it didn’t break my hair or anything I guess it all depends on how you care for it. My daughter is 17 and I’ve never put a relaxer in her hair. But I can understand how some moms want to make it easier on their children and themselves who have really course hair. At the end of the day. It’s not anybodies business why people do what they do with their children. Y’all are not coming over to comb it thru so let people do what they do????????♀️
Becky Pierrevilus says
My daughter is 16 years old I never perm her her also my 9 years old baby girl still no perms
Charmaine Scott says
It’s never healthy… But to each it’s own.
Lerona Harris says
Never…..
Senoj Syek Arahsal says
The moment it’s thought of. I say don’t do it but to each it’s own.
Atoysha Toy Wells-Bassene says
my daughter is 2 and I say I will never put one in her hair. I’m natural now for 7 years and I’m 41. I wish my mom had never used it. My daughter’s hair texture is very different from mine and I’m afraid she will want her hair to be like mine or want to change her hair bc of where we live. . I guess I have to teach her how to love her own hair.
Nykkya S. Davis says
I love all the barrettes! I use to love them in my hair!!
Gelene Craig says
Very pretty
Gabryl McAlester says
Never. Too soon is to EVER relax their gorgeous black curls .
Tae'lor Morgan says
I’m just laughing at all the people saying they get relaxers/perms and their hair is long and healthy….but when I look on some y’alls pages your skin/hair tells a different story. No longer do we as black women/girls need to integrate into white society; to be seen as professional or approachable. The hair that grows outta your head is just fine. Flat ironing is okay every now and again, but putting Ammonium thioglycolate(which affect hormones, can cause fibroids, and cancer,ect.) is not okay. All the ingredients are toxic to all living organisms and it is none biodegradable ????????♀️
Shirley Bryant says
Never
Fatima Ross says
Smh leave them kids alone
Shemida Jardine says
Never.
Vera Cardoso says
It’s always too soon to make such a dire decision for them. Don’t relax their hair, let them choose to do so when they’re old enough to choose their style.
Phyllis Snow Graham says
Never, just keep it washed and condition her hair
Chinwe Anagbogu says
I relaxed my daughter’s beautiful hair at 6
and regretted it.Her hair got so damaged that I had to chop it all off to the roots. She’s 12 now. Her hair is all natural and beautiful again.
Note to all, leave your daughters’ natural locks alone. There are so many products for natural black hair
Necey Bee says
Chinwe Anagbogu .. recommendations?
Nikki Belue says
Should never ????
Rochele Peoples says
???? how about NEVER!
Christy Love says
I wish I had never relaxed my daughter’s hair.
Felice Richards says
Is this a real question in ‘19 ???? ummm don’t ever do this ladies ????????♀️
Kimm Williams says
We over relaxing our daughter’s hair. She 19 and no chemicals.
Milla Love says
How about never ????????
Shea Kristof says
NEVER
Eurasia Quick says
No don’t relax it
Kenn Mayfield says
Before she’s Grown and can make her own decision is to soon
Ruby Garner says
Made that mistake with my first daughter she had long thick thick hair , ruined it, my 3 year old has long beautiful hair no relaxer until your 18, then she can decide to perm and take care of it or leave it natural, me on the other hand I’ve had a perm since I was 10 luv it
Gennie M Johnson says
Don’t relax her or him hair.but If you think you want to 16 years old. Because if you read those relaxer they have hormones in them. And believe this they can and will affect a child. And most time adults.
Shaunte K S Halbur says
9yrs old prefect age!!
Brenda Gabriel says
The question should be, How many barrettes are too many?
তিয়ে তিয়ে says
How about never?
Monique Elizabeth says
Don’t do it ever
Jamaican Ak says
Why relax? Those chemicals are damaging to our brains
Yvonne Mclean says
Never
Stacey British says
Never. The hairdresser has to wear gloves to protect from the harmful chemicals yet you wanna be putting that on your head???!!!
Shaunna Woods says
I wouldnt do that it messes up the hair.
Shaunna Woods says
Try just keeping it in braids as long as u take care of it
Karmen Marlise Hosé says
When you decide to teach her self hate and when you decide you want her to start developing fibroid tumors and have no more edges
Preye Dolly Pere-Sinclair says
Those clips are one too many.
Nyarai Katsere says
Never relax anyone’s hair
Tracy Huntley says
Let them make the choice about their hair…preferbly when they sign their first lease
Je Wel says
Never! She can make that choice as an adult.
Maquael Taylor says
Never
Symone Nioka Douglas says
No child needs such harmful chemicals in their hair..
Christian Parker-Little says
Never, wait till she’s grown and can make the decision on her own after she’s been educated on what relaxers do to your hair. I for one will never put those chemicals in my daughter’s hair. Relaxers have been linked to things like ovarian cysts in black women. We don’t need those chemicals in our hair. I teach my daughter to love and care for her natural hair and hope she won’t ever feel the need to relax her hair. There’s no such thing as unmanageable hair in this day and age, there are plenty of products and information out there.
Dee Anderson says
Children should not be exposed to these harsh chemicals.
They are designed to cause havoc with our reproductive system as well as each run the risk of having no more hair.
Not only this, it sends a clear message that their natural beauty is not worth embracing.
Why would we do this to our babies?
Bella Mae Lena says
Never
Alisha Juanette says
If I could go back i would have never relaxed my daughter hair. I think I relaxed it when she was around 8 yrs old… but now she 17 and shes been natural for about 5 years… and her hair is beautiful
Ntombi Mabuya Mtimande says
She will decider this herself when she’s old enough. …I’m not relaxing her hair at all.
Lachét Anderson says
How about NEVER
Mayim Iammuzik Siffel says
It’s always too soon it should just never happen
Tonya Hines says
I have two daughters 11 and 14 AND I NEVER RELAXED THEIR HAIR
Sherri E Bell says
been natural my whole life
Tricy Valentine-Seebran says
It should never be done. My mum should of never relaxed my natural hair at age 11. I was amazed at the fact that I had hair like most of the weave I was putting in my hair for years. So I decided to go back natural after 25 years of relaxing.
Necey Bee says
NEVER
Lisa Wise says
When she becomes a teenager duhhhhhh….and can read and Google the ingredients and see what’s going on her brain
Ash M Johnson says
Y’all gonna “my hair was long until my momma permed it” us to death. Soo if that’s true why isn’t it long now since ya natural ???????????????
???????????????? it’s soo funny, almost every female says this ????????♀️????
Patricia White says
We should quit relaxing our hair…PERIOD
Wan Da says
Never I think if she wants her hair straight get it pressed I would say 14yrs old . No relaxer
Tina Brighteyes Grant says
I’m NEVER relaxing my daughter’s hair. She can once she moves out!
Amanda Smith says
Maybe 6/7 and I don’t regret it ????????♀️it made my mornings easier. I see no problem as long as your taking care of it and using good products.
Tanesha Winston says
I don’t have any daughters, but I got my 1st perm around 10 or 11 and never had any issues. My grandmother took care of my hair. She kept it washed, deep conditioned, ends clipped, scalp greased. Getting a perm wasn’t an issue for me… but hey to each is own
Steph Radway says
This should never be an option. We need to teach our children to embrace their beautiful hair.
Donna Washington says
Steph Radway I have read so many comments but you had the best and simple to the point comment. Love the comment.
Courtney Daniel says
I would wait until around 10 or 11. Only protective styles and occasional heat. Who knows at that age they may choose their own natural hair. Nobody would be doing wigs or extensions until at least 15.
Sheron Brathwaite says
Why would you rlax a young girls hair? Especially when we know of all the adverse effects of those chemicals use in relaxers?
Also, why do many insist on outing 5billion barretts in little girls hair?
Tanya Betton says
I wouldn’t.
Tanika Gray says
I would never let her choose when she is older. I’m 24 and you have no idea how I regret relaxing my hair when I was in middle and high school. ????
Cynthia A.Bradley says
Don’t do it please don’t!
Iesha Richardson says
I’m all natural now (5yrs) but I was told when I was younger that your not suppose to perm your daughters hair until their menstrual cycle starts. The changes goin on in their bodies is goin on with the hair textures as well!
Hoda Sulub says
Don’t do it! I begged my mom at age 12 and relaxed for 10 yrs. now I’m 14 yrs natural and loving it.
Olivia Ré says
Look at the chemicals in it. Look at the affects on the body!
Diana Resor says
I was getting my hair relaxed at the very young age of 5 until I was a senior in high school. After that I went natural. I had my scalp burnt up too many times to count. It’s convenient but i definitely would not use it on any child. ????
Olivia Ré says
If you all ever want to know about the safety of any of your products just go to the EWG.org database
Sonia Gotay-López says
Are parents still doing that?
Aleeia Abraham says
Ever
RaRa Love says
DONT DO IT
Kiana Williams says
I’m never relaxing my daughters hair
Cynthia Brunsonhyde says
Not at all
Neash Nisha says
My daughter wants hers straightened but no relaxer tho.
Amiliyah Coles says
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
Jennifer Scott says
My personal thought is children’s hair should never be relaxed. Granted my hair was ‘pressed’ from 13-17 and was introduced to relaxers 18-19 (not really common in the UK at the time) when my mother came back from the US with a box of Dark & Lovely. Children should be allowed to understand their hair texture and type (care and understanding of) before embarking on the relaxer route and be able to understand the pros and cons of relaxing. Then if as older teens (16+ they want to relax then it should be done by a professional and hopefully as they would have been ‘schooled’ in good hair maintain healthy relaxed hair
Tia Brooks says
Never
Nancy Wilson says
Any age above 16 years old
Rosa Bacon says
Don’t do it. I’ve lived to regret it !!
Yasmine Mulobo says
I am never relaxing my daughter’s hair. I went natural myself when i had her. She is now 3 and we both have long healthy natural hair
Janet Henry says
NEVER!!! Read the chemical content in these products and their long term affect on fertility
Kendra Johnson says
To those who make the decision to do so, after their first menstrual cycle is best. Their hormones are more balanced after the cycle begins. But i would opt out of a relaxer being an option.
Adrine Duncan says
Don’t do it! It can effect her reproductive system. This is true and real.
Nuate Booker says
I would keep it natural until she is old enough to keep up a perm or better yet wait until she asked for one when she’s older
Endenezjia Graham says
I would never relax my daughter’s hair
Sheila Ellis says
never relax their hair, wait until they are an adult and then if she wants to do it let her make the decision.
Bernice Reyes says
Never!
Rachel Williams says
Never!
Effie Lisa says
Never ????????♀️
Sheree Ree Ree Glover says
Never is too soon
Bontrell Wallace says
I would never put one in my daughter’s hair NEVER
Emerald Mulcahey-Roberson says
DO NOT EVER USE RELAXER, PERIOD
Tanisha Washington says
Never
Stephanie Hicks says
I say NEVER!
Oldest daughter @ 4..by her dad’s sister..????!! She’s 24 now..just did her big chop
Middle daughter @ 8. She’s 19 now and transitioning.
Youngest (15) never.
My two that had relaxers always had long, healthy hair
I had my first relaxer @ 6…team natural 4 years and I love it!!
Brittonee Deleveaux-Newry says
I’m never supporting the hair damage or hair shame that comes along with hair relaxing.
I’ll ask my daughter if she wants a perm when I ask her if she wants to try crack. She’ll make that mistake on her own without me ????????????♀️
Liki Love says
I don’t like my hair natural it’s beautiful just horrible to take care of .. my daughter hair is sooo course and peesee sorry… I love our tight hair, very unique, it’s ours but I just don’t have the time to keep up with it. But my daughter had a perm once neither I or my daughter liked it. Back to natural now and she don’t want it permed no more she’s 10 … I get a perm once or twice a year
Angela Williams says
I relaxed my daughter’s beautiful thick 4C hair at 10yrs old cause i was frustrated and for the first 2 months it was gorgeous. I didn’t know how to handle that hair type. That was the worse thing I could have ever done. Her hair started to fall out and the elasticity of the hair was gone. Her hair is growing back thicker and stronger. No more relaxers of any type.
Kathy Galley says
How about never.
Kathy Galley says
Does White people have this kind of convo with each other about when to wear an afro..F…it WE black people need a reality check..stop emulating others by hating our hair,we hate our creator..because FYI…WE ARE BORN THIS WAY..LET ME SAY IT AGAIN
#BORNTHISWAY
Joyce Brown says
How about……NEVER
Laure Marshay says
Never
Charlotte Johnson says
I think back in the day firms was a fad everybody was Army near here. If I had it to do all over again I would have never perm my hair I am natural now and Loving It is well. I do blow dry it but no chemicals. But if you must perm your daughter’s hair they say wait until they have their menstrual cycle. That’s what I was always told I’m just saying.